Thursday, December 26, 2013

The toll of pushing it too far.

It's the day after Christmas, five something in the AM, and lay awake in bed. Not being able to sleep is common for me. I take my sleep as I can get it. A nap here and there as needed.

Yesterday, we ate with my husband's family. We stayed long enough to wait for everyone to arive and eat... about two hours. Which was about all I could handle before getting worn out.

Having lived with HIV for more than a decade and having more than my fair share of health issues, I come to know my limits. I know this is my first entry, in due time I will cover the issues and complications in my life. 

My birthday was on the 21st. A pretty unenventful day. These days it just nice to have a quiet day to and relax, even if it is a birthday. I've found myself being pissed after going out to eat with family a few days after my birthday. I've learned that I should not expect much from my family. My hubby and I have paid for the birthday meals (and some movies) for each of the members over the last year or two. Here we are with the lowest income and a table of gathered family and on my birthday and my hubby pays the bill again. Yep, freaking Dutch.

Needless to say, we are not paying for anymore birthday meals. In general, I think I'm getting tired of family. The lack of compassion. My expectations are too high and I'm just going to have to learn to adjust. Certainly stop wasting my money on them. They are just going to have to be blessed with nothing more tnan my presents or the lack of it. 

Going back to what I said in the beginning, I have to know my limitations; emotionally, financial and physically. At this state in my life being over invested takes its toll upon me. If I can give any advice it would be to fully be aware of your limits and if you have the tendency to over reach and push yourself too far. 

Too often I have pushed myself to much and my health has suffered for it